one step forward, two steps back

It is like I am destined to be miserable. Every time something happens to me that is good, I turn around and do something else to completely screw myself over. It's as though, subconsciously, I want to be miserable.

I had a job interview today. I was nervous, but it went really well. It is for a position as a baker at a summer camp. I really want the job. 2 months at a secluded campsite, room and board included, no family to make me feel inadequate. Dream job! I'll know in one or two weeks if I got it :)

Sadly, I screwed up my "everything is going super" high tonight. I went to Zumba as usual, and that was fine. When I was backing out of the parking lot, I heard someone beeping their horn. I wasn't sure what it was about so I stopped, and looked around, checked my mirrors, etc. About a minute passed, and nothing happened, so I assumed all was good. So then I started backing up and, of course, I hit a car that was RIGHT BEHIND ME! (Such an idiot!) I quickly pulled back in and parked the car, and the person behind me did the same. I got out and went over to apologize and check the damage. The woman got out of the car and started reaming me out, saying "Did you not hear/see me?" Well, of course I didn't see you, or else I wouldn't have backed up into you. I did hear you, but I didn't know who was honking and what for. I just wanted to apologize, and make sure that you and your car are okay. She was pissed, I could tell, but who wouldn't be? I just felt, though, that her opinion of me was that I am a total twit. There was no damage, (because I was going like 1km/h), but I offered her my number anyways. She didn't want it; said she would talk to her husband and that I would probably see her next week, so if there are repairs she will let me know then. (I guess she is in the dance class after me).

Actually, she was fairly good about it, except that I could tell she thinks I'm a total fool. I was upset at myself mostly. But then as I was walking back to my car I saw two of her friends looking at her, then at me, then at each other. I fucking hate women! I am sure as soon as I pulled away they started gossiping. They don't even know me! I am probably being unfair - I don't know them either - but I am a girl, too. And girls gossip, and they were no doubt gossiping about me. How I was probably texting, or listening to music too loud, or just a total bumbling idiot (none of which is true). And then, of course, they would start talking about how terrible young drivers are, and how the youth of today are ignorant and oblivious, and go on and on....

Okay, so they probably didn't say all that, and I am overreacting. But I can't help but beat myself up over making an obviously terrible impression on a person I will probably see again, but not socialize with, thus she will only ever see me as a the girl who backed up into her in a parking lot. Fuck my life.