feel like i'm walking on eggshells

Every few months or so, my mom decides she is going to have a mental implosion. Basically, she builds up this idea that we all hate her, and everything is her fault, and then she snaps and won't talk to anyone. What it is she thinks is her fault, I have no idea. She once told me that she feels like she has to hold everyone's life together for them. I told her that is ridiculous. That she is stressing herself out for no reason and no wonder her blood pressure is through the roof. I also told her that instead of walling up and being a frigid bitch, she should just speak up and tell people how she feels. Of course, she won't. But who am I to talk? I have never opened up about my eating problems.

Anyways, yesterday when I got home from class and tried to strike up a basic conversation, my mom starting giving me attitude, and spoke to be in a condescending way. I wracked my brain to think of what I had done wrong, but couldn't come up with anything. Turns out her and my brother had it off earlier, and she was still steaming. What their fight was about, I have no idea, but I am sure she blew it way out of proportion like always and made him feel like an ungrateful wretch. (I know because she does the same to me). Anyways, she left for the evening, which just made everyone feel worse. (At least this time she didn't rent a hotel somewhere and show up days later).

Later last night my one brother, (who had the earlier disagreement with my mom), came downstairs and asked if me or my dad could smell something burning. I didn't notice it at first, but then I could definitely smell it - dope. My other brother had decided to light up in his "room" (it's actually just the front room he is sleeping in until he finds an apartment... if he ever starts looking). What a twit. I have no issues with weed, I smoke it all the time, but not at my parents' house. I mean, come on! How dumb and disrespectful can you get? He knows damn well that they are against it. He is just so selfish and smug. Whatever. My dad lit into him. I don't think he told my mom though, (smart thinking, she would have lost it). I hope they ask him to leave. His presence stresses me out.

On the plus side, I have been hiding away in my room most of the weekend, (I'm too afraid to go near anyone in case I say the wrong thing and they explode), so I have not been eating all the time like I do most other weekends. Just focusing on my schoolwork, (which, by the way, is a total bore. I have to do a talk on the implications of using neuroscience as evidence in court cases on Monday).

I hope you are all doing well and staying strong :) I think I might give myself a pedicure later to cheer myself up.